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You may think of 50 Shades of Grey as you like, but at least the BDSM fetish has become a little bit more socially acceptable since then. The selection of bondage accessories and blindfolds, even gagging has grown. I have tested some of these accessories and here are some tips and tricks for you. After all, I like to try out new things and explore my limits. This also includes being tied up and being tied up. In general I find the BDSM spectrum very exciting and every now and then a bit of it can be very exciting in the bedroom and bring a breath of fresh air. By the way, if you stumble across terms here that are not immediately familiar to you, you can see if you can find them in my sex encyclopedia. Im constantly trying to expand that for you, after all Im constantly learning new things. I would like to briefly mention here that Shades of Grey has pretty much nothing to do with BDSM, except that the same tools are used. The term is composed of several aspects of the somewhat harder sexual preferences. Thus, bondage and discipline, dominance and submission as well as sadism and masochism fall into this spectrum. All participating partners are at peace with their role in the unequal power structure. They take these on of their own free will. The role play, a so-called BDSM session, usually revolves around disciplining, humiliating or inflicting pain on the so-called sub, i.e. the submissive, submissive party, through the cathedral, i.e. the dominant part. Sex through oral, vaginal or anal penetration does not necessarily have to be part of it. Before such a session, boundaries should be clarified and a safeword agreed. How hard such a game turns out is, of course, completely different. Even a soft velvet blindfold over the eyes or a soft silk scarf that gently ties the hands together can be a kick for sex life. Cold contact with an ice cube on your skin when you cant see it and cant defend yourself. The gentle caress of a feather on bare skin. Or also a stroke with the flat hand on the bottom. Anything is allowed as long as all parties feel like it.

Blind feels better for rough sex

Blindfolded eyes are a wonderful start for a gentle start. If you cant see anything, the other senses become much more sensitive. You feel every touch more intense. You hear your own breathing and feel everything your partner does more clearly. And everything that touches the tongue tastes better. For a start, you dont even need extras from the sex shop. Most of you will have scarves at home that are great blindfolds. But of course a nice, comfortable will do a bit more. There is now a very large selection here. From nylon over satin and velvet up to latex and leather everyone can find something for his taste here. You can put a black satin eye mask in your shopping cart for free. For a start, the quality is fine, but if you really want to be blind, you should invest a little bit. The silky shackles, which I recently ordered at my erotic online shop test, are suitable for beginners to blindfold as well as for soft shackles.

Captivating devotion

I myself find it incredibly stimulating to be at the mercy of a partner I fully trust. To not be able to defend myself and to have to accept whatever he does with me. But the shackles are not only a restriction, but in other ways also a liberation. For you may simply enjoy. You must enjoy, because that is exactly what your partner wants from you in this situation. Depending on what you want, there are some aids. Then try out the belt of it, in order to tie the hands carefully together. But be careful with the knot, you dont want to tie it too tight, but you want to get it open again afterwards. In addition - especially for beginners - you should always make sure that the blood can still flow. So if you notice that your hands are tingling or getting cold, let yourself be freed immediately. More secure here are shackles with Velcro fasteners - in case of doubt you can undo them on your own. There is a selection with plush, soft upholstery or leather. For example, I just had the chance to test a beautiful set from Black Swan DesignZ. These luxurious leather cuffs not only look great, they are also comfortable. Handcuffs are of course also a possibility, but I personally find them uncomfortable and impractical. Once again something different than just handcuffs and the like, are bondage arts with ropes, also called Shibari. In contrast to bondage, this is not always about immobilization, but more about the aesthetic aspect of bondage. And an art form in itself it is very well and certainly not for beginners. I can tell you, if you pull a rope wrong here, it can quickly lead to abrasions or burns. Its no fun. This kind of immobilization is nevertheless exciting. One should only be aware of all risks and possibilities and inform oneself extensively. Naturally, a little spanking is not yet equal to BDSM. I think, with Doggystyle a Klaps on the bottom occurs nevertheless more often times. At least that has always turned me on. But you can also go one step further and use a whip to play BDSM. Depending on your choice, this can also be completely beginner-friendly. If you want to try something like this - without pain and striae - I can recommend the pretty Flogger from Bad Kitty. Here you can definitely say that it sounds worse than it feels. It only pinches slightly - the bare hand hurts more. Paddle for more intensive BDSM games at Spanking FetishIf you want it more intense, you can grab a paddle. Depending on your taste, this can be a bit stronger than the Flogger. But just the feeling of leaving your partner the power to whip you can be very pleasurable, even if it doesnt hurt (very much). After all, it is - at least for me - partly only about the feeling of submission, not about actually feeling pain.

What is the appeal of BDSM?

I guess the appeal is different for everyone, I can only speak for myself here. For me it is a role play. Because I can slip into completely different personalities. Even if I can otherwise have a dominant nature about me, there are also moments in which I like to obey orders. There are situations in which I want to serve. There are moments when I am intentionally naughty to be punished. And I know how to enjoy this submission to the full. I also find the trust that you have to have for your partner attractive. I couldnt imagine being able to give myself in such a way to someone whom I dont know well or whom I dont trust absolutely. I think this kind of love play goes far beyond mere sex. But it also takes a lot of imagination, I think. For me it is not enough to be tied to the bed and then fucked. Its much more about whats around it. Its about how the other enjoys being able to use my body while I cant defend myself. Kissing, stroking, scratching, biting, ice cubes, candle wax... - my credo here is everything is allowed that leaves no lasting traces. How - when it comes to sex - it is especially important that you talk to each other. Define in advance where your limits are and accept your partners limits. If you dont want something in the first place, say it openly and dont just hope that it wont come to that. Set a safeword. For example, mother-in-law, then you lose your lust anyway. A lot of things are aimed at begging you to stop, but you actually want the opposite. Thats why its important to have a way to stop when its necessary. But you should also know each other well enough to be able to recognize a serious stop by your voice and pitch in case of doubt and to react accordingly. Take it slowly, test it out piece by piece. You have to find out together what you like - and what you dont like. Actually, I shouldnt have to say that, but one thing is for sure: No means no! It doesnt matter if you agreed to it before - if someone wants to stop, thats the case. There must be no discussions and certainly no further action. Apart from that, all I can do is wish you lots of fun exploring new abysses.


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